i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
