I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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