I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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