my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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