Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Couch. On fire.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
