1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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