marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
