What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
