I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
