he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
