I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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