i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
