I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
honey bunches of taint.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
