Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
