I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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