Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i already hear my dad disowning me
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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