The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
