And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
