I wish I only lived at night.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
