sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
