nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
