Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i just google imaged poop.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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