why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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