she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
