i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
