Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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