We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
