i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
