i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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