watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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