So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
There's always time for handjobs
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
