When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
