I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
