you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The power of my boobs compel you
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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