I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
