I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
