she woke up with a sticky ear
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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