everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
