Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I am midnight drunk by noon
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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