And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
