Swine flu. Run for my life!
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I AM VODKA MAN
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
