I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Randomize
