is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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