At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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