No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
