Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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