I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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