no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
