your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
