Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
