...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
