? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
