i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
