she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
