I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
