how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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