this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
